I have decided to write about a specific day, which was the day I flew over to Hamburg, Germany to attend an audition, in November 2010.
The night before the audition, I barely slept a wink; my mind was sent into a frenzy of anxiety and excitement. It was to be my first audition in a professional environment, and I was determined not to let myself down. The lyrics to my chosen songs whirred round and round in my head all night, leading to a very restless night. I woke up feeling more tired than when I went to sleep!
The day was pretty much what I expected from a typical audition; we warmed-up in the studio beforehand, both physically and vocally. It was a dance-swing audition, so little dance was required for the audition, so I focused more on my vocals. We were then introduced to the audition panel – the Musical Director, producer, choreographer and the head of costume. The dance captain of the show actually taught us the routine in the audition. We learnt a bit from the Finale, which is one of the few numbers in the show which contains vocalists and dancers together on stage, doing the same steps. It was ridiculously fast, the rate at which the choreography was thrown at us; I wondered at one point if my brain could work any harder! It was hard to focus in a room with so many people in it, though. It was almost confusing, seeing different people practicing different sections of the routine, until they all just merged into one, in my head. I just had to take a deep breath and give it my best shot. We were split into smaller groups, of around five people, and watched more closely by the panel. They then made the cuts.
If we were successful in that round, which I was, then we were asked to sing. We had been asked to prepare two contrasting songs, one of which must have been of the pop-rock genre. I had chosen to sing ‘Somebody to Love’ from ‘We Will Rock You’, and for my contrasting song I chose ‘You Know How to Love Me’, from the musical ‘When Midnight Strikes’. I believe these were good song choices for me, as they showed off my vocal range well, and are completely different styles, showing my versatility. I had also recently performed them both on tour, so I was confident with the performances enough to be less affected by nerves, than if I hadn’t been as familiar with the songs.
After the vocal audition, we were given a small amount of feedback on our audition. This was possibly the worst part of the process, as it can sometimes be harder to accept a detailed critique of your performance, rather than just a straightforward ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Initially, I was terrified that I would let myself down. I knew how fantastic this opportunity would be for me, and I was determined not to jeopardise it for myself. Arriving at the audition, I was cold, tired and full of anxiety, yet so excited.
I couldn’t wait to get in there and get my teeth into the audition – as it was to be my first proper audition, I wanted to see if everything lived up to my expectations, if things surpassed them, and if I satisfied myself with my performance that day.
One thing that immediately struck me was how welcoming the panel were. They were so friendly; not at all how I had imagined they’d be. I think that was what surprised me the most - how down to earth they were, considering how talented they are, and how important they are in the field. Having said that, the audition process was pretty much how I expected it to be.
There are a few things that will always stick in my head –
- I had never felt so nervous in my whole life! I will never forget that rush of adrenaline that I had throughout that day.
- I couldn’t help but notice how happy the cast members looked, when I saw them walking around the theatre. I managed to catch a glimpse of a couple of rehearsals also, and I noticed how much they seemed to be enjoying their work – it seemed like a wonderful atmosphere; almost like a family.
- During both the dance and the vocal sessions, the accompanist was fantastic. He was able to capture the dynamics to dance to, as well as follow you closely during the vocal audition. It is invaluable to feel so secure with a pianist.
- I was blown away by the feedback I received. All of the people auditioning received feedback in front of everyone else, so I heard the panel talk to all of us. I was fortunate to receive very positive feedback, but any criticisms were given in a very constructive and encouraging way, which I admired a lot – the panel must have seen hundreds of us, and could easily have lost patience with the weaker members of the group, but they did not.
- I will never forget the pain I felt once the adrenaline had worn off – my muscles felt like they’d never worked harder! It took numerous hot baths to recover from that day, but I know that I well and truly threw myself into it!
- Another memorable feature of the day is the ‘Smoking Room’. When I arrived, I had forgotten that there is not a smoking ban in Germany, and so was shocked at first, when I saw people smoking indoors, especially around singers. I was ushered into a room, after the audition, and was faced by a room with couches and ash trays, so smoky I could barely see my hand in front of my face! This was where the cast and crew sat and could smoke within the theatre. I was thrilled, since it was well into the minus temperatures outside! I sat and chatted with many members of the cast and the crew, and was able to get a real insight into the life of a company member. It solidified for me, my passion for this career.
The day taught me many things. Firstly, I was surprised and delighted at how well my vocal audition went, proving that my preparation had been adequate. I didn’t feel unprepared in any way; I think my nerves would have been unbearable if I had been under-rehearsed. I really had put a lot of time into preparation for the audition, and I think that it showed. I also learned that I am more than capable of getting a job, if I keep on believing in myself. I got fantastic feedback, so I really should stop doubting myself – I need to walk into auditions with my head held high, instead of looking like I’m apologising. This leads me onto my final point – I must avoid negativity, as the levels of anxiety and much reduces, if you are feeling confident and positive.
I couldn’t have asked for a better experience that day, but I couldn’t help but wonder what could have gone wrong. I could have completely messed up my vocals – cracked my top notes, forgotten my words, or just not done a good performance. I might have completely dried up with the choreography, had a mind blank, or I could have damaged my foot. I could have injured my back again, or not have been able to carry on, due to pains with my injured foot or shin. The panel could have laughed at me. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but I have known panels to be rude to people auditioning, laughing at them if their vocals aren’t great.
I would have hated it if my nerves had gotten the better of me, and if I had gone to pieces. On the flip side, the audition could have been flawless, but not performance is ever completely perfect – something can always be improved upon.
I have decided to reflect on the day, from the view of the bag I took into the audition, as it followed me throughout the day, and saw everything I went through.
There was a distinct buzz of nerves in the room. All the dancers were showing their nerves in their own way – some were just sat silently, while others jabbered incessantly about nothing, waiting for the audition to begin. Eleanor was on the floor, stretching, seeming quite calm, considering the situation. Once the audition began, the energy in the room rocketed, and there was a whir of panic, as the dancers tried to retain the steps, and perfect the style. The room was a blur of steps and tantrums, anxiety and disappointment, along with a sense of excitement and adrenaline.
When it was time for the vocal round, there was a lot of pacing and murmured practicing of songs. Eleanor was fidgeting constantly, not seeming to know whether she should practice more or rest her voice, doing breathing exercises to calm her nerves. However, once her name was called to sing, she seemed to be confident. She came out of the audition relieved and with a smile on her face. The rest of the room was filled with the combination of relief, from those who had done the audition, and terror, from those who were yet to sing. It’s crazy how much pressure and emotional turmoil the performers put themselves through, just to try and get a job.
The audition was a very valued experience. For a start, the audition was for my favourite musical, so I was very enthusiastic about it, and I am sure that this enthusiasm had something to do with the positive outcome. The outcome of the audition has made me more positive and confident, ready for the next time I have an audition.
By observing others, I was able to pick up on positive and negative elements of their own audition technique, and apply them to myself. Currently, as part of work experience, I am teaching others, which is helping me to identify the positive and negative in the students, much as in the audition. I am able to see for myself what works and what doesn’t, and then transfer that and apply it to myself more efficiently.
Once I have fully recovered from my ankle injury, the audition process will become a more regular thing, so I’ll have to learn to fit it into my working week, along with all of the preparation that must be done beforehand. It also made me realise that, if I managed to do so well with my foot still weak, my injury will not stop me from fulfilling my dreams. It has made me more determined than ever to get back to fighting fitness, and I will be using this course to help me maintain the networking bridges that I made on the audition day. Also, I will be utilising the journal and the reflective process to analyse more experiences, such as the audition, to draw on the good points, in order to minimise unsuccessful auditions and experiences in the future.
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